a very mundane point.

i spent 70 dollars today!!

-gasps-

a hardcover edition of The Sandman – The Doll;s House and ordered the 2 books on Death. pretty, carefree Death. They would mark the first Gaiman books in my possession.

Heathen Chemistry i also purchased. and stop crying your heart out is so. so. so. beautiful.

i would like to think, how nice it would be for me to write in nice long flowing sentences without any pauses or break within, to let it continue flowing and not let punctuations hinder it, to obstruct it, to let it go in its own natural rambling way to its final, inevitable conclusion.

a period.

who the fuck did i think i was kidding?

to put all my emotional luggage down, pack, and move on?

what the FUCK?

talk about false bravado.

not now. just not now.

let me come to terms with myself first.

you see. now you see how short my posts usually are.

see how riled i was then?

and am?

it;s been a painful month. with tumultous ups and downs.

where well, as usual. there being more downs than ups.

but what the hell.

come on matt. it’s time to pack and move on.

i’ll start collecting my clothes now. wait for me kay?

i suppose. i wld have to move on with life from now on.

i swear. that must have had been the longest message i;ve posted up here in my life.

at least. i know. what i should or should not do now. time to pull myself together.

In a remarkably clear lucid moment, i think i;ve figured out what i should or should not do.

has been conversing with this poor excuse for a living creature, who until 24 hours ago, was the boyfriend of this friend of mine for 9 incredible years. (yes, i DO have friends, few as they are.) and few could be like him to induce THAT much scorn in me.

pak. scorn people. sounds incredible? it just became a reality.

what an unbelievable man. to connive, and lie and cheat his way through for the past 9 months, to destroy her life by making her neglect her studies, under the pretence that he was going through a painful period in the transition from poly to uni, thathe dropped his saf scholarship.

looking back. i wondered what was there abt him to actually make me believe he was a scholarship owner. the govt might be short-sighted on certain issues, but not THAT short-sighted.

and now. he threatens to kill himself. hello? get a life? upset at yourself? think you do not have a defining point in your life? kids younger than you have been there, bitched about that, and haven;t even killed themselves yet.

you. are a pathetic excuse for a human being. and you WANT to pull others down with you? you want to kill yourself and make her feel lousy? go fuck yourself man. you are sad. and there are few. pple. who can arouse that sentiment from me.

i apologise. i shouldn’t basically slam anyone, but wth. if you know that guy. you would know.

thank you fadhly.

more than once, it has been said that beauty would immortalise those who were blessed with it.

but how about those who aren’t fortunate enough?