slothful lazy pak.

and one day, you shall walk down the staircases of introspection/past and whine and bitch and rant and regret what you thought you would never regret.

and i don’t really know why i’m here. in all respects, i should be muggingmuggingmugging for my promotionals (promospromospromos) , those malignant shadowlike objects that follow you wherever you go and simply just don’t leave you alone. i want to read and write and build and sleep and cook and do so manymany things that i’ve always wanted to do and yet simply i can’t. i know i want to get my s papers and get a scholarship and go to the states or the isles and learn and feel inferior so that i can and will know how much i do not know. learning is nice; you know things that you never otherwise will and you know in learning you will never stagnate.

mosquitoes breed and grow and bite and suck the life out of you.

courtesy from grace, whom i pilfered from without her knowing.

da Geek Code!

too lazy to put mine down; shall do it after promos. promise.

A Rush of Blood to the Head

He said i’m gonna buy this place and burn it down,

I’m gonna put it six feet underground.

He said i’m gonna buy this place and watch it fall,

Stand here beside me baby in the crumbling walls.

Oh i’m gonna buy this place and start a fire,

stand here until I fill all your hearts desires.

Because i’m gonna buy this place and see it burn,

and do back the things it did to you in return.

He said i’m gonna buy a gun and start a war,

if you can tell me something worth fighting for.

Oh and i’m gonna buy this place is what i said.

Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head.

Honey, all the movements have started to make,

see me crumble and fall on my face,

And I know the mistakes that i’ve made,

See it all disappear without trace.

And they call as they beckon you on,

they say start as you need to go on.

(start as you need to go on)

Said i’m gonna buy this place and see it go,

and stand here beside me baby, watch the orange glow.

Someone laughed, some just sit and cry.

She just sit down there and you wonder why.

So i’m gonna buy a gun and start a war,

if you can tell me something worth fighting for.

and i’m gonna buy this place is what i said.

Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head, upto the head.

Honey, all the movements have started to make,

see me crumble and fall on my face,

And I know the mistakes that i’ve made,

See it all disappear without trace.

And they call us, they beckon you on,

they say start as you need to go on.

(some need to go on)

(some need to go on)

So meet me by the bridge,

Meet me by the lane,

When am i gonna see, that pretty face again,

Oh meet me on the road,

meet me where i stand,

blame it all upon, a rush of blood to the head – Coldplay

the concert at Galstonbury was sososo beautiful.

Hotdog seller to didi (not hamann, Death rather) “What did the Zen monk say to the hotdog seller?”

Sexton Furnival “Make me one with everything.” Death – The High Cost of Living

the high cost of buying a hot dog too.

sometimes (most times) i wish i could just hug onto someone and go to sleep.

insecure, unstable me.

central park. hah.

“My father used to take me to Central Park. That was before Sylvia and Steve divorced. It’s funny. i mean, I was only about six or seven when they separated. Most of what i remember was just sittign in my bedroom in the dark, trying to stop them from splitting up. Just trying to do..magic, I suppose.I’d sit down and pray, and concetrate, and just try to stop them. I was trying to make them love each other again. I mean, they didn’t even speak to each other. Only sometimes Steve wouldn’t come home at night, and sometimes Sylvia would just sit around and cry, and they didn’t love each other and there wasn’t anythign i could do about it.

And one day Steve walked out of the house and he didn’t come back. That was when i knew there wasn’t any magic. And i went into my room and lay on the bed and wished i was dead. And that didn’t happen either.” Sexton Furnival – The High Cost of Living

so did i.

in all blatant honesty, i dont really think my past few posts have been even relevant.

then again, which part of this blog is?

not even its owner.

these few days have been pretty surreal. in all expectations, i believe something(s?) not very pleasant would come up.

Murphy’s Law.

it is odd, to realise that Murphy is actually a play on Morpheus’ name.

ah well.