Take The quiz yourself

yah bleach is damn good la.

christian bale can growl really well.
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batman today after an incredibly slack workday; no officers in camp, we all had to take half day off but i refused, so i went to padang to help out with national day preparations AND GOT OFF AT TWO THIRTY PM. which is like, cheers mate. at any rate, christopher nolan did an incredible job with the movie, even though there were several changes; bruce wayne did not just learn from ra’al ghul, he did so from many different sources. and he is called the detective for a reason, because he learnt the art of investigating and intuition too, but these weren’t documented. nonetheless, it was a brilliant show.

today, i learnt that soulseek can download songs really really fast and vivienne, i have joyride’s beautiful!

yesterday a kitten was nearly killed in camp and i almost cried. i mean, i don’t understand why i did that because i’m not even particularly close to it; it ignores me and shies away from me whenever i go close to it but then if you think about it it’s only 2 months old and it’s still so young and innocent and it is a life nonetheless and i have never seen a mammal killed before my eyes before and i never ever really liked death and then maybe you did understand why. at any rate, despite coughing out an enormous quantity of blood from a stepped-upon collarbone my sergeant brought it back to camp today alive.

maybe the adage is true, a cat does have nine lives.
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today i watched claire sing and i think she has a luminous voice.

there’s too much sadness and despair these days and it has always been the same old things, the lovelessess, the absence of a future education and i don’t know what to do, to cry or just to end it all. being alone is best, and there are times i do not want to step out of my house because there is too much probability that when you do you will be reminded of things.

from bernie:-

a n g e r section.

do you have a quick temper?: hell yes.
what do you do when you’re mad?: sulk in a corner.
what’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?: scream at my mom probably; she doesn’t have to bear the brunt of my ineptitude.
if you can take back time, would you have never done this?: i would, but then it would happen again cause i m too fucked up.
ever made anyone cry when you were mad?: my mom i guess.
ever physically hurt someone when you were mad?: no, not really i think.
do you curse when you’re mad?: you think?

c r y i n g section.

when was the last time you really cried your heart out?: march this year.
ever cried yourself to sleep?: yes
ever cried on your friend’s shoulder?: on matthew’s when we were friends in 2004.
ever cried over the opposite sex?: probably.
do you cry when you get an injury?: … no.
do certain songs make you cry?: yes, they do haha.
can you make yourself cry?: why not man, depressing issues are all around the whole time haha. but what’s the point anw.

p a i n section.

what’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to go through?: retaking a levels thrice.
what’s the worst thing you’ve done to yourself?: not studying.
what’s the worst thing you’ve done to somebody else?: i don’t know. probably letting mom down.
ever had a painful break up?: nah, no one to break up with in the first place.
what about the old ‘pain for pleasure’?: it works.
how depressed can you get?: quite.
do you inflict pain on yourself?: sometimes. i push myself past my limit.

h a p p y section.

are you normally a happy person?: used to heh heh heh.
what can make you happy?: good music good books good food and when friends do sweet unexpected stuff.
do you wish you were happier?: yes.
what makes you the happiest?: i can’t really remember, that was some time ago.
is being happy overrated?: not really, there’s joy and despair in the world.
what about being with your friends, does that make you happy?: mmhmm sometimes.
can music make you happy?: hell yeah.

l o v e section.

how many times have you had your heart broken?: zzz
do you still have feelings for any of your old significant others?: nope.
have you ever loved someone so much, that you’d die for them?: then and there, but it wasn’t a mature love. but i would if i loved someone.
did you ever love a guy/girl, tell them that, and only got ‘thanks’ as a reply?: i think so la.
ever loved someone so much, it hurt and made you cry?: yeah.
has anyone besides your friends and family ever said ‘i love you’ to you?: mei youuuu. nooooo i m so sad oh woe is me boo hoo hoo.
ever stopped a relationship because they didn’t say ‘i love you’?: uh no. but that’s like how shallow la maybe.

h a t e section.

who do you actually hate?: myself.
ever made a hit list?: in chinese high yeah.
have you ever been on a hit list?: HAHAHAHA you don’t say.
are you a mean bully?: no.
do you hate any one that breaks your heart?: one.
do you hate George Bush?: i don’t hate as much as go zz at him.

s e l f – e s t e e m section.

is your self-esteem extremely low?: it fluctuates.
do you believe in yourself?: sometimes.
when people say they think you are pretty, do you deny you are?: yes. duh.
are you happy with who you are?: i am back to being too fat to go to the beach.
do you wish you can be someone else?: no point there is there.

food poisoning strikes once a year and it brings a grown man to his knees. in front of the toilet bowl. so _|_ to you you bloody army food and may you rot in the presence of anitibiotics grrrr.

but omfg my back and neck are aching like hell and i have never felt more like an old man grumbles.

and i have to go back to camp tomorrow! unless my back and neck pain intensifies i am thinking how teh bloody hell i would be able to eat porridge or drink soup of some form since army obviously doesn’t serve such healthy food.

in other words ms seow, i am quite ready for the beach.
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irregular sleeping hours the past day, from 11pm to 9am, from 1pm to 5pm, from 12am to 4am, from 5 am to 6.30am, and good lord, i sure as hell have been sleeping BUT WHERE IS THE STUDYING. -prods myself-

i hate being sick once a year.

it is two fifty in the morning and it is going to rain, which is something that should be celebrated because rain is something we don’t get enough of these days. it should rain more often! because rain is tranquil and melancholic and soothing and romantic altogether at the same time and we should just dance and sing in it with jazz in the background.
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we celebrated vivienne’s birthday today and some things never change. bernia’s as stressed out as ever, wenyu still plays the piano, kox bullies me and pak has to retake his a levels (how self deprecating). and jac is still jac and we are all photo whores; come back fasterly ms jesley chua! then we can all mahjong.

and speaking of mahjong, my tuition teacher whom i pay tuition fees on a regular basis to is back! welcome home mr lai.
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it is pouring now but shit man i haven’t bathed yet which means the water will be bloody cold. smaaaart pak.

tap water at 5.35 and a mouthful of listerine makes for a very good contrast.
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am bernie’s 20002 viewer! palinodromes are very lovely things but mine were centuries of days ago.
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afua taxis are bankrupting me again bloody hell.

it is two fourty five on thursday and there is so much melancholy in the silence.
———————-

i want to i want to i want to but i cannot.

how ambiguous, and i don’t have an answer to my questions. egotism shall kill me one of these day, i know it shall.

love in the time of cholera; will i ever have a love as great as that?

from sharlene again; when have you ever sent me bad songs!

The Atlantic was born today, and I’ll tell you how
The clouds above opened up and let it out
I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere
when the water filled every hole
And thousands upon thousands made an ocean
making islands where no islands should go (oh no…)

Most people were overjoyed; they took to their boats
I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat
The rhythm of my footsteps crossing flatlands to your
door have been silenced forevermore
And the distance is quite simply much to far for me to row;
it seems farther than ever before (oh no…)

I need you so much closer…

So come on; come on…

Transatlanticism – Death Cab for Cutie

it is 12.30am now and i have an impulse to go to town to buy primo levi, death cab for cutie and maybe keren ann – it would be expensive (i cannot use “did be expensive” because sharlene said it was ungrammatical, and it probably is) but i don’t really care. it’s midnight and there will not be any crowds and all will be silent and lovely.

but all the shops will be closed, all but 7-11.

i think there should be 24 hours deparmental stores where people can just go to whenever they feel like it. it has to be several because if there is only one it would just be a novelty and people will flock to it because it’s cool. i will go in at 1.30am, wander alone the shops and maybe sit inside a book store and read and drink ice blended passion fruit and i will see a quiet salesgirl in the empty store and perhaps i will fall in love with her.

the spontaneity of the reverse afternoon!