a colleague i intensely disliked said i should bear more responsibility for myself during a huge confrontation and oddly enough it was the only thing that stuck in my mind the whole day. i am twenty this year, double decades old, i do not have a soul that sings any longer, i am tepid/boring and i should not feign otherwise by assuming to be as effervescent and wilful as i was when i was eighteen where i flouted practically every rule just because it was inconvenient. i suppose i have gotten about enough schtick in anass to be maybe more mature but there is something so practical and cold in it that whatever remains of me two years ago screams out in protest.

and yet, it has to be done.

liverpool is even with manure at halftime and i cannot watch the match because i have to book in by nine pm; i believe i will be late again. at any rate it’s going to be an insane week with combat shoot the next few days and guard duty immediately after the range. zzz no dota for three days! i shall atrophy and be a feeder.

basketball just now with the hc school team players and i was made to realise how inadequate i was; surely some improvement has to be required!

it has been a lovely weekend but i am the only person at home now; i hate doing the laundry and dishes but oh wells. somewhere over in perth my mom must be enjoying a well deserved break.

antipodes. the second half will begin soon and pool shall win!

NBA players for katrina

i think it has been so incredibly sad that because bush is in power such incompetence could have occurred, but then incompetence and stupidity is synonymous with him. but at least there are people with compassion in this world and it is heartening to know that even though these people are millionaires, they still bothered to fufil the dreams of many kids.

maybe, there is hope in this world.

yesterday i completed the army half marathon and i lament the conclusion of training at base; those were slack times. i am bloody achy though.

be with me, and will anyone be with me? how does it feel to kill someone you love with your heart for centuries of days only because you love her and why does it that when people rule euthanasia as illegal they fail to understand there is ultimately only one person who is truly torn apart by the action and that is the doer itself? there is no pain greater than that but its something that has to be done because sometimes in life, there is no purpose in living on.

the day i eventually stop loving, stop dreaming, will be the day i kill myself, and i am afraid that the day will be soon.

Don’t know why I’m still afraid
If you weren’t real I would make you up
now
I wish that I could follow through
I know that your love is true
And deep
As the sea
But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom,
Where no one lives.

Remember when we first met
And everything was still a bet
In love’s game
You would call; I’d call you back
And then I’d leave
A message
On your answering machine

But right now
Everything is turning blue,
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom,
Where no one lives

Freedom
Run away tonight
Freedom, freedom
Run away
Run away tonight

We’re made out of blood and rust
Looking for someone to trust
Without
A fight
I think that you came too soon
You’re the honey and the moon
That lights
Up my night

But right now
Everything you want is wrong,
And right now
All your dreams are waking up,
And right now
I wish that I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom
Where no one lives

Freedom
Run away tonight
Freedom freedom
Run away
Run away tonight

We got too much time to kill
Like pigeons on my windowsill
We hang around

Ever since I’ve been with you
You hold me up
All the time I’ve falling down

But right now
Everything is turning blue,
And right now
The sun is trying to kill the moon,
And right now
I wish I could follow you
To the shores
Of freedom
Where no one lives

Honey and the Moon – Joseph Arthur

germany has won south africa 5-2 courtesy of a rampant lukas podolski while england has slumped to a 1-0 defeat at the hands of nothern ireland, the first time since 1927. the 4-5-1 formation obviously doesn’t work because it plays absolutely to no one’s strengths and all it does is to muddle every single player and to be honest, there are certain players in this team who do not bother to put in their best, rio ferdinand being the chief culprit. england should play a 5-3-2 lineup, with ferdinand (if he does play properly), terry, carragher/campbell as the centerbacks, ashley cole and gary neville/david beckham (god forbid) as the marauding wingbacks, michael carrick or owen hargreaves as the holding midfielder with gerrard and lampard given the licence to roam upfield together with owen and rooney. but it will never be this way because sven goran eriksson’s just too controversial to experiment with such an unconventional formation. to be honest, i don’t think this is exactly the best formation either because there is a lack of speed, which shaun wright phillips can provide, but aiyoh.

in contrast, jurgen klinnsman is having a ball of a time. lahm, ballack, schweinsteiger, deisler, podolski, and kuranyi are all young exciting players who deign to thrill and excite and honestly, all the former spurs striker has to do is to shore up a creaky defence. and for chrissakes, drop jens lehmann already; there is a reason why oliver kahn is named that way because a ball just kahnnot go by him.

that was rather tasteless.

shall watch samantha tan today! heeheehee.

i think this is quite sad.

from postsecrets.

there are so many things to say these days, but words do not not flow the way they used to; my grammar has atrophied and my soul has waned with age.

i am watching a japanese movie on channel 8 now and two boys are running freely, happily, unburdened.

we are at a cross-junction now, you and me both. we need to seek a minus sign.

a stockholm syndrome what is a stockholm syndrome is it love at first sight or is it just a desire to break out from mundanity and ennui or is it just the title of a muse song. i do not know but i think it is a combination of the first two and an irrelevant sidenote for the third.
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anime on arts central these days are very interesting.