these days i am not so much a wordsmith as much as a regurgitator and i think there is a certain sense of loss in that.

this will be my last lunar new year spent in singapore for the next three years and i will miss it terribly. it used to be such an important part of my life because this was the time when the whole family would gather together and everyone will be happy; grandfather is gone but nothing changed, the whole extended family turned up today, everyone older wiser and more mature and there was a festive sense of tranquility that was disrupted by the gambolling of little matthew. was i like that once upon a time? these days i do not remember much but i know this is a cycle; little elle is 17 this year and i am sure she is a belle; she just got awarded a scholarship and i think of us all, she may just be the most successful. but i think the person i will miss most is my granny, the feisty little thing because of all the love she holds in her soul. i don’t know if this is true, but i believe mothers are possessed of a love so great that it surpasses everything else and everyone should love and respect them for it; me gramma’s transcends generations too and i pray that she would be around when i return because i want to cook for her, i want to prepare delicacies for her and i want her to be proud of me despite failing her so often these recent years. i have not seen her in recent months because i am an escapist, because i do not want to believe that she will leave (because i believe she will live) the way grandfather did and that loss would be too much to bear.

i want her to be around because i want her to be proud of her eldest grandson because i know i have let her down too many times.

god is returning to liverpool, and these days are yesteryears where goals flowed like water and where white lines were made of drugs. at any rate, these days belong to our forefathers and it is time when we should celebrate festivities with a passion; happy lunar new year everyone.

bloody fuck! bloody rio! bloody djibril!
—————-

today i killed a slow moving mosquito and i wonder, whose blood do i have on my hands, mine, the mosquito’s, some other unfortunate soul? all of us are inextricably caught in this blood web.
—————-

I said man, can you help me out?
Bring me back to love
Bring me back to life

Oh why should I care?

I said how, could you keep me out?
Without a wish to share
So without a doubt
Oh then why should I care?

We have been warned
It’s a classic sign
It’s a wicked mind
With an axe to grind
When is it our, our turn?
So why should we care?

Yeah we have been warned
It’s a classic sign
Why should we care?

If this is our last summer
Oh then why should we care?

If this could be our last summer
Then why should we care?

Snowden – The Doves

i wonder again what happens when blood is split in a snowy den, will the blood seep through the snow to stain the ground or will it be like rose syrup over an ice ball, a relic of an unobtainable past.
——————

will i love again, will i come back to life, will i learn to treasure last chances and events?

from ci’en whom i do not know, but i believe is my great^x (where x is an integer) grand senior and is too old for me.

Memes of Four

4 jobs you’ve had in your life
chat channel moderator for some it company.
ammunition storeman.
-
-

4 movies you could watch over and over
spy game
love actually
meet joe black
amelie

4 TV shows you love(d) to watch
English Premier League Highlights
Lost
Friends
project runway

4 places you’ve lived
Singapore
-
-
-

4 places you’ve been on vacation to
perth
guangxi
penang
hatyai

4 places you would rather be
vienna
london, rainy and all
philadelphia for the sixers
paris

4 of your favourite foods
boon tong kee chicken rice
old chung kee curry puffs
granny’s food mmm
steaks

4 websites you visit daily
nba.com
espn.com/nba
soccernet.com
wurh.com

4 tagged
tagboard is non-existent as of the time of this post. our most sincere apologies.

Very Ignominous Things of The Day

“So, those with bmi problems should really watch their weight. Ah soon, ah thong, bui cai (100kg tonners. wait, that’s a misnomer in itself but you get what i mean)you better do something about it. and pak, have you overshot your bmi?”

“haha no la sir where got! still fit as every sia!” a second later, i was like “eh wait. did he say i was fat!?” “yah pak you’re fat la!!!” at this moment a sergeant chipped in, “no la sir, its all muscles.” but i was still wtfing.
——————

“what?! ONLY 4th LEVEL TICKETS ARE LEFT.” “yeah, and the nearest sistic outlet’s at lot 1. you better get there soon.” “LOT 1!!! that’s like beside my camp!”

and i have been delaying since last thursday. pak the procrastinator cheers la. i think i’ve finally settled on my new year’s resolution.
——————-

“hmmm i can’t find your 11b.” “no la, i’m sure its there.” at this moment the 15 minute interval bus went by and the regimental police went “eh, i think i gave it to the wrong guy.”

!!!!
——————-

“eh say hello to uncle!” a mom told her child as i waved at her during a very motivated 45 minutes run.

that’s it la, i’m beyond rescue.

On Average, You Would Sell Out For

$1,118,111

At What Price Would You Sell Out?

The Movie Of Your Life Is Film Noir

So what if you’re a little nihilistic at times? Life with meaning is highly over-rated. Your best movie matches: Sin City, L. A. Confidential, Blade Runner

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

it’s going to be a spectacular year, with franz ferdinand in concert for only $88 on the 16th feb and also, the coming of kings of convenience in march!

omg, i can hardly catch my breath. musick musick musick!

haha it rained it’s 1.40 a.m i had a long talk with a dear friend and somehow 2006 will be a better year than the previous two ones :) oh ms wong you are right i really should move on.

it’s two days after the new year and i think i finally got the festiveness of it all.

These mist covered mountains
Are a home now for me
But my home is the lowlands
And always will be
Some day you’ll return to
Your valleys and your farms
And you’ll no longer burn
To be brothers in arm

Through these fields of destruction
Baptism of fire
I’ve watched all your suffering
As the battles raged higher
And though they did hurt me so bad
In the fear and alarm
You did not desert me
My brothers in arms

There’s so many different worlds
So many different suns
And we have just one world
But we live in different ones

Now the sun’s gone to hell
And the moon’s riding high
Let me bid you farewell
Every man has to die
But it’s written in the starlight
And every line on your palm
We’re fools to make war
On our brothers in arms

Brothers in Arms – Dire Straits

yesterday i heard this when brad pitt met robert redford for the second time in spy game, and something just stirred. considering that i hardly feel anything these days, it’s a pretty good sign.