ladies and gentlemen, if you do want midnight supper, and you’re staying in nus, mr lai wai kit has a proposal for you.
wtf i was reading the menu and i could feel the hunger pangs 7 time zones away. thanks a lot eh tallbhoy.
———-
ocean spray is amazingly catchy. i wonder how you sounded like when you sang it.
happy things should be written down, jaclyn seow once said and this time i concur because some memories should never be given an opportunity to be forgotten; fasnacht began yesterday at 4am in the morning when all the lights were switched off and the procession began; practically the whole city was awake, the old, the young and the ones in between and they all flooded the streets and made a town that’s supposed to be sleeping alive. today on the first day of the carnival, also known as the only Protestant Carnival around because of its refusal to abide with its catholic counterparts to have it on the sunday before Ash Wednesday. waggis, people wearing huge head masks and costumes went around in floats throwing oranges, sweets and gifts to the crowd and in 2 hrs, i had 7 oranges, 1 beer, a gift clock and aroma set and 12312312 sweets, like, what the hell?? but this is truly the most amazing scene i have ever set my eyes upon, and it’s not just the general festivities insofar as how the whole town embraced it, and that to me, is something worth admiring.
there are some times to be happy and with a decent stash of music, i am contented, delighted but occasionally wistful and maudlin. technicolour melancholia, funny ole term innit.
today (now) i am watching meet joe black for the first time since december 31st, 2001 and watching it again reminded me of why brad pitt is one of my favourite actors; the set is resplendent, the actors incandescent, and claire forlani reminds me a little bit of tamara but without the russian accent.
(i know she will kill me if she ever finds this, but i don’t think she will.)
fasnacht is in 6 hours time, i ate 6 sushi rolls for breakfast and lunch and meet joe black lasts for 3 hours. everything is a multiple of something and i wonder what our lives will be.
rachael sent me ocean spray, i thought of my chefs in the first 6 seconds and modest mouse’s ocean breathes salty in the next 12.
claire forlani is lovely, gorgeous, english, whispery.
Haven’t laughed this hard in a long time
I better stop now before I start crying
Go off to sleep in the sunshine
I don’t want to see the day when it’s dying
She’s a sight to see, she’s good to me
I’m already somebody’s baby
She’s a pretty thing and she knows everything
But I’m already somebody’s baby
You don’t deserve to be lonely
But those drugs you got won’t make you feel better
Pretty soon you’ll find it’s the only
Little part of your life you’re keeping together
I’m nice to you, I could make it through
That you’re already somebody’s baby
I could make you smile if you stayed a while
But how long will you stay with me baby
Because your candle burns too bright
Well, I almost forgot it was twilight
Even if I think that you are right
Well, I’m tired of being down, I got no fight
You’re wonderful, when it’s beautiful
But I’m already somebody’s baby
And if I went with you I’d disappoint you too
Well, I’m already somebody’s baby
Already somebody’s baby.
Twilight – Elliot Smith
i played this song seven times in a row at 4 am, swinging from a swing right outside my apartment and it has been ages since i last sat on a one, in fact i almost never sat on a swing. i never really played much on the playground when i was young because my parents didnt have the time to bring me there and once when i petulantly asked to, my dad swung me so high i never dared to ask him to help me play with it again.
today i swung myself higher and higher, leaving trackmarks behind on the soft ground that i used to propel myself up; i invariably scar everything i put my feet on and it is quite maudlin because i do not think the land will be solid enough to support me kicking myself back and forth repeatedly for four months. what happens then?
tomorrow at 4 am, i will celebrate Fasnacht, today at 4 am i will willing submerge myself into a throng of people for a once in a lifetime festival. sometimes in life you hope that certain things are worth it.
Haven’t laughed this hard in a long time
I better stop now before I start crying
Go off to sleep in the sunshine
I don’t want to see the day when it’s dying
She’s a sight to see, she’s good to me
I’m already somebody’s baby
She’s a pretty thing and she knows everything
But I’m already somebody’s baby
You don’t deserve to be lonely
But those drugs you got won’t make you feel better
Pretty soon you’ll find it’s the only
Little part of your life you’re keeping together
I’m nice to you, I could make it through
That you’re already somebody’s baby
I could make you smile if you stayed a while
But how long will you stay with me baby
Because your candle burns too bright
Well, I almost forgot it was twilight
Even if I think that you are right
Well, I’m tired of being down, I got no fight
You’re wonderful, when it’s beautiful
But I’m already somebody’s baby
And if I went with you I’d disappoint you too
Well, I’m already somebody’s baby
Already somebody’s baby.
Twilight – Elliot Smith
i played this song seven times in a row at 4 am, swinging from a swing right outside my apartment and it has been ages since i last sat on a one, in fact i almost never sat on a swing. i never really played much on the playground when i was young because my parents didnt have the time to bring me there and once when i petulantly asked to, my dad swung me so high i never dared to ask him to help me play with it again.
today i swung myself higher and higher, leaving trackmarks behind on the soft ground that i used to propel myself up; i invariably scar everything i put my feet on and it is quite maudlin because i do not think the land will be solid enough to support me kicking myself back and forth repeatedly for four months. what happens then?
tomorrow at 4 am, i will celebrate Fasnacht, today at 4 am i will willing submerge myself into a throng of people for a once in a lifetime festival. sometimes in life you hope that certain things are worth it.
You can compliment me on the style of my hair
Give me marks out of ten for the clothes that I wear
You probably thought I had more upstairs.
I disappoint you.
Can’t see through your perfect smile.
He likes to read books written for girls.
He prides himself on being a man of the world.
In the darkest of places he gets his thrills.
He will disappoint you
If you see through his perfect smile.
I think separation is okay.
You’re not star to guide me anyway.
You only wanted me to play.
A fool…played by your rules.
Now my door has swollen from the rain.
God knows we’ll never see her face again.
People get shattered in many ways.
They can disappoint you.
When you see through
Their perfect smile.
Books Written For Girls – Camera Obscura
the album is called underachievers please try harder and there is a certain sense of appropriateness to it.
there’s too much silence these days, and there’s too much sadness. 2 repulsive, repugnant facebook posts the past two days from people who could be better and a thoroughly lonely chinese new year surely have not helped matters. today a former manager of one of the best french restaurants in basel pretended not to speak english and muttered in french the whole time while i served him before complaining to my manager; i wasn’t perturbed, nor Herr Bui, but it didn’t help matters that i was serving from the green tea pot that always leaked and splashed hot water on a female customer at the table. i had 40 chfs as tips, 20 from the lady, and 20 from her friend but sometimes money isn’t everything.
i failed to get honours for my first year, missing by 2 points even though i managed to get honours for my finals; french pulled my average down by 2 points and the curse of the languages other than english has continued to haunt me; today i continued my silent voyeuring and i wonder why i always have to reach out to people and not the other way round; one day i should stop, and be silent and let the world all around fall quiet in a vacuum void of my presence because sometimes what’s the point of trying so hard and what all people do is to react out of sheer obligation and not wants. because sometimes company isn’t everything.
when i said previously that i won’t be celebrating chinese new year again, i meant it because i will not be going back to singapore for the foreseeable future in the next five to seven years at this time and i know for a fact that things will change irrevocably. so do not mistake me for whingeing because i do love my grandma and i don’t know if this family will remain intact if…
if.
there’s too much silence these days, and there’s too much sadness. 2 repulsive, repugnant facebook posts the past two days from people who could be better and a thoroughly lonely chinese new year surely have not helped matters. today a former manager of one of the best french restaurants in basel pretended not to speak english and muttered in french the whole time while i served him before complaining to my manager; i wasn’t perturbed, nor Herr Bui, but it didn’t help matters that i was serving from the green tea pot that always leaked and splashed hot water on a female customer at the table. i had 40 chfs as tips, 20 from the lady, and 20 from her friend but sometimes money isn’t everything.
i failed to get honours for my first year, missing by 2 points even though i managed to get honours for my finals; french pulled my average down by 2 points and the curse of the languages other than english has continued to haunt me; today i continued my silent voyeuring and i wonder why i always have to reach out to people and not the other way round; one day i should stop, and be silent and let the world all around fall quiet in a vacuum void of my presence because sometimes what’s the point of trying so hard and what all people do is to react out of sheer obligation and not wants. because sometimes company isn’t everything.
when i said previously that i won’t be celebrating chinese new year again, i meant it because i will not be going back to singapore for the foreseeable future in the next five to seven years at this time and i know for a fact that things will change irrevocably. so do not mistake me for whingeing because i do love my grandma and i don’t know if this family will remain intact if…
if.
and then it was chinese new year, and so it was true that you never know how much you missed something until you’ve lost it. everything feels so different these days and i think everything will change when i do return, because i have always been the constant but this time i won’t be able to because i am not. so to some extent, i don’t really want to return to singapore find a past life i had once loved gone, faded, immolated with the passing of time.
chinese new year was always about sleeping over in grandma’s house, watching jackie chan shows on channel 8, waking up at 10 am frantically getting dressed in anticipation of my cousins’ arrival, playing host to them, getting them to eat pineapple tarts, chicken curry, abalone (which we would only buy once a year, and that’s only if grandma doesn’t get them as gifts) with bamboo shoots, ngow hiam, cabbage soup and chinese love letters. it was happifying, lovely, nuclearated and homely.
chinese new year this day was spent with aglio olio, garlic buttered mushrooms, and a chicken karage recipe i pilfered from my japanese chef, with whom i had two pints of beer and a turkish durham the night before; i walked to the nearest telephone booth at 4am, and called home, and heard my grandma and mom clearly over the phone, and somehow in the wintry blitzing cold sunday morning, i felt a certain sense of warmth. there was a box of matches in my left jacket’s pocket; i felt like the matchstick boy. except he didn’t die in the cold.
or maybe he did.
happy chinese new year everyone, i don’t know if i will ever get to celebrate it again.
today is valentine’s day, a day of love, joy, happiness and every restauranter’s dream; love, i believe is the single most unfathomable and depthless emotion in this world and i am glad that there is a day to celebrate it, advertising and marketing gimmick as it may be. it will be a frenetic 24 hours and i foresee many couples coming so i suppose it is prudent to post this now than at the end of the day which would be utterly pointless because it would be the 15th of feburary and all sense of the day will be lost.
to dawn and sam, debbie and dingo, jac and weijie, risse and jgan, lisabel and boon gan, ailin and louis, mr lai and ms tan, i wish you love. and to the rest of you, one of these days you will find the other half that will complete you, that will bring out your capacity to love with a ferocity like nothing before, a candle flame in a still room that would illuminate all around you.
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