i bought neil gaiman’s fragile things in geneva more than a week ago and yesterday i read a poem.
We owe it to each other to tell stories,
as people simply, not as father and daughter.
I tell it to you for the hundredth time:
‘There was a little girl, called Goldilocks
for her hair was long and golden,
and she was walking in the Wood and she saw-‘
‘-cows.‘ You say it with certainty,
remembering the strayed heifers we saw in the woods
behind the house, last month.
‘Well, yes, perhaps she saw cows,
but also she saw a house.‘
‘-a great big house,‘ you tell me.
‘No, a little house, all painted, neat and tidy.‘
‘A great big house.‘
You have the conviction of all two-year-olds.
I wish I had such certitude.
‘Ah. Yes. A great big house.
And she went in …‘
I remember, as I tell it, that the locks
of Southey’s heroine had silvered with age.
The Old Woman and the Three Bears…
Perhaps they had been golden once, when she was a child.
And now, we are already up to the porridge
‘And it was too -‘
‘-hot!‘
‘And it was too -‘
‘-cold!‘
And then it was, we chorus, ‘Just right.‘
The porridge is eaten, the baby’s chair is shattered,
Goldilocks goes upstairs, examines beds, and sleeps,
unwisely.
But then the bears return.
Remembering Southey still, I do the voices:
Father Bear’s gruff boom scares you, and you delight in it.
When I was a small child and heard the tale,
if I was anyone I was Baby Bear,
my porridge eaten, and my chair destroyed,
my bed inhabited by some strange girl.
You giggle when I do the baby’s wail,
‘Someone’s been eating my porridge, and they’ve eaten it -‘
‘All up,‘ you say. A response it is,
Or an amen.
The bears go upstairs hesitantly,
their house now feels desecrated. They realise
what locks are for. They reach the bedroom.
‘Someone’s been sleeping in my bed.‘
And here I hesitate, echoes of old jokes,
soft-core cartoons, crude headlines, in my head.
One day your mouth will curl at that line.
A loss of interest, later, innocence.
Innocence, as if it were a commodity.
‘And if I could,’ my father wrote to me,
huge as a bear himself, when I was younger,
‘I would dower you with experience, without experience,‘
and I, in my turn, would pass that on to you.
But we make our own mistakes. We sleep
unwisely.
It is our right.
The repetition echoes down the years.
When your children grow, when your dark locks begin to silver
when you are an old woman, alone with your three bears,
what will you see? What stories will you tell?
‘And then Goldilocks jumped out of the window and she ran-’
Together, now: ‘All the way home.‘
And then you say, ‘Again. Again. Again.’
We owe it to each other to tell stories.
These days my sympathy lies with Father Bear.
Before I leave the house I lock the door,
and check each bed and chair on my return.
Again.
Again.
Again.
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i don’t have any stories to share because i have stopped writing them since i swore to not let myself get hurt when i wore my heart on my sleeve and let it get torn again again and again by people i should never have liked; there’s not much of it now and evidently it shows because these days i dont find that many things incandescent anymore and maybe that’s how i will end up, loveless, liveless and hopeless.
there’s not many things that i can share, but this i can, and i shall.
season of the shark – yo la tengo
