Knights of Loneliness – Josh

not because i’m particularly emo at this point, because despite it being 3.19am in the morning which should be the peak period for all things melancholic, it has actually been a rather lovely day.

happy birthday shining, and thank you so much, so much, for everything (: also, i need your cell number!

Time to Pretend – MGMT

heyy you, stop being such a love junkie.

there’s an abject lack of eloquence these days, but i have to write, i have to write, because to be souless is not an option even though it may sadly be so. we should all be given the option to be stubborn, to refuse, to say no, to shout no, to be given a choice, to embrace it and to live with it.

but it still does not change the fact that i am an emotional fuckwit; i have too much expectations in people, i give too many the benefit of the doubt, but walls have to burn, they have to combust upon themselves and crumble under their own weight because i can’t live a life like this, on clouds, amongst gliders, in the air.

there are just too many barriers between us, and i do not know how to bridge any of them because i am just that inept.

Over and Over – Rachael Yamagata

I really thought I was okay
I really thought I was just fine
But when I woke this time
There was nothing to take me back to sleep
To take you off my mind
This time

And I keep saying over and over and over and over again
Let it rain, let it rain
Over and over and over and over again
Let it rain, let it rain I need to hide within a storm
So have the ending come
And bring the winds that scream
And spill the fog all over town
And hold me in your standstill ground
And I will sink down
And you’ll be washed away
You’ll be washed away

Over and over and over and over again
Let it rain, let it rain
Over and over and over and over again
Let it rain, let it rain

I really thought I was okay
I really thought I was just fine
But when I woke up this time
There was nothing to take you off my mind

Over and over and over and over again
Let it rain, let it rain
Over and over and over and over again
Let it rain, let it rain I need to hide within the storm
So have the ending come
And bring the winds that scream
And spill the fog all over town
And break through every door
And strip away the tree
And raise the rivers high
Just help me drown
And hold me in your standstill ground
I will sink down
And you’ll be washed away
You’ll be washed away

————————————————

it was worth it all these years, it was worth it. then and then some.

———————————————–

there’s too much to say, and you should stop falling in love with words.

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A Simple Thing – Josh Rouse

i should have never let you let me go is a line which would recur in my mind repeatedly on loop ad infinitum, but if anything else i think it’s is precisely that which i don’t do that pushes people away.

i need to stop leaving pieces of my heart about because it is not fair for anyone, not for me, not for her, whoever she is. there won’t be much of a whole left, and there should never be any compromises, at least in an ideal world.

i need to start picking the pieces and putting them together.